Saint Diego. Part 1.

Miss me?  Yeah, I missed you too.  COMMENCE BULLET POINTS

• I figured out why you aren't supposed to drink the water in Mexico.  Because it's too close to California.
• I'm going to break up the next few blog posts to be about the Comic Con.  Not just because we did a lot of things, but because Portland is very boring and sunny with nothing to blog about after Comic Con.
• Seriously, what is UP with the water in California?  It's got this milky texture.  Milky water make your foot fall off. 

The drive down was nice enough for a 20 hour drive.  We had the sleeping beauties in the back for a while.

But did you know when you drive a whole day for 20 hours that the day seems like a bust?  What?  It's WEDNESDAY?  You mean all we did on Tuesday was drive?

I finally ate at In-N-Out Burger.  Yes, it was delicious.

Hayley and Sarah were fantastic about buying groceries for the trip down.  Did I mention we were carpooling with two other people?  Well, now you know.  They brought those little packs of cereal, but we had no milk!  WHAT TO DO?  So I went into a McDonald's to buy a kid's milk and creepily asked for a spoon and cup.   "Just a milk, by itself?...That's it?"  And then I came back inside to go pee, and on my way out a woman said "Excuse me."  I paused for a second, knowing she couldn't be talking to anyone else and turned around.  "Would you like a sandwich?"  Long pause.  "Sure!"  She then explained they didn't want it go to waste.  Their son got all into telling me the story.  "Yeah!  I only ordered one chicken sandwich, and they gave me TWO and now we have an extra one!"  We both drove away at the same time and the boy waved at me.  But for some reason Jesse wasn't as enthused as I was about me accepting this chicken sandwich from strangers.  Like In-N-Out, it was delicious, but better, because it was free.

Okay, and then just remember I was in the car for a really long time.

The next day Roger and Shawn flew in from Georgia so we went out with them while Hayley and Sarah slept until 1pm.  This was Shawn's third year at Comic Con and he was so handy!  We farted around all afternoon and then went to preview night.  After that we watched a guy get arrested.  Proceed to story.

We were walking to Jack in the Box with all of our Comic Con paraphernalia and cameras so that no one would mistake us for tourists, when we saw a helicopter in the distance with a SPOTLIGHT like in the MOVIES!  We commented on this, while it moved closer to us, and then on top of us.  Followed by sirens and then a really really loud BANG!  But since we were at Comic Con it could have also been a KAPLOOEY or WHAMMO.  I started to back that butt up in case said "bang" was a, you know, gun.  I am from the westside and all.  And then some guy walks into the middle of the street with his hands up, the cops speed up to where we are, and arrest him. After further walking, we saw he had driven around the corner and smashed his truck into a transformer.  It was not Optimus Prime, don't worry.

And I was expecting the cops to give us a hard time, telling us to go around and all.  But you know what they did?  "Oh, did Comic Con start tonight?  How's that going?" Never mind the smashed truck in front of us, how is your vacation?

The next day we saw Seth Green.  But I'm used to not seeing celebrities, so it was more like "That guy looks like Seth Green.  But he's so little!"  And then...oh, and then my friends.  I saw Claudio from the band Coheed and Cambria.

I saw him on the then-reasonable floor of the convention center (read: before 120,000 people had access to it) and stalked him and his wife for a bit.  I called Jesse and said "CLAUDIO SANCHEZ IS RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME!" as I hid behind a pole from his view, and Jesse said "I'M LOOKING AT MIKE MIGNOLA!"  It was a beautiful moment between a married couple on opposite sides of Comic Con.  I followed him for a few minutes before tentatively saying "...Claudio?"  And let me tell you he is SO NICE!  His music is the type of genre where they're usually drunk and mean at their concerts, but they seemed like the nicest guys who took what they did seriously, and it goes for his real life too.  His wife immediately put out her hand to take a picture of us (and she is a HOTTIE, let me tell you!).

That's not the original picture of me and him, because we saw them again at the Hilton when Jesse was with me.  I mean, we were bothering these people on their vacation at their hotel and they were nice as can be.

Okay, well... The other days kind of run into each other so it will be three parts.  Sneak peek numero uno, aka "zombie meet my neck meat":

Ron Burgundy: Discovered by the Germans in 1904, they named it San Diego, which of course in German means a whale's vagina.
Veronica Corningstone: No, there's no way that's correct.
Ron Burgundy: I'm sorry, I was trying to impress you. I don't know what it means. I'll be honest, I don't think anyone knows what it means anymore. Scholars maintain that the translation was lost hundreds of years ago.
Veronica Corningstone: Doesn't it mean Saint Diego?
Ron Burgundy: No. No.
Veronica Corningstone: No, that's - that's what it means. Really.
Ron Burgundy: Agree to disagree.

Jesse.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I owe you a real blog post. The pictures need to be resized and we're good to go.  But more importantly, it's Jesse's birthday.

When Jesse and I had been dating for 10 minutes and then engaged for 5, it was Jesse's birthday.  I spend $250 on a tattoo for him on his back.  And as it turns out, Jesse isn't much for the pain.  While I get a tattoo and am in pain, I am STOKED for the new tattoo, I don't even care about the pain.  Jesse isn't like that.  And then we went back to his house and I washed his tattoo with a rag.  A RAG.  I don't know what I was thinking.  It's like I hadn't gotten my own tattoos.  I'm not sure it was a very good birthday present afterall.  Homeboy was miserable.

The next birthday trauma involves a little back story.  Once I read in a Little House on the Prairie book about the girl (was there more than one main girl?  I didn't like the books) running around in the woods, and when she comes home she's in trouble for leaving, and then she looks down and notices that somewhere along the way, her big toenail had come off.  Sorry for sharing that, but it MESSED with me.  When Jesse and I were dating, I confessed that at various points through most days, I have to put some sort of pressure on my toenails so they feel safe.  I know, bizarre.

So in 2008 on his birthday, I was moving a chair in our house.  And then it happened.  Something traumatic to my toenail, that I won't go into detail.  Wait, yes I will.  My toenail got bent back.  And I have to say, it wasn't that horrible.  Except, MY NIGHTMARE CAME TRUE!!!  I couldn't stop crying and we had to have my parents come over and I had to wear a big bandage on my big toe.  It took a year for it to completely grow out again.

Last year we were hanging out with Brittney and Bracken and as the day went on, I got this horrible back spasm.  It became more and more painful and I couldn't sit down or move much.  He spent the evening of his birthday rubbing my back.

So here's to you, toots, to marrying someone who apparently never cares it's your birthday.  I love you very much and I'm hoping that this low-key birthday we have planned doesn't suck.  We will already be at mom and dad's place in case something happens, but I will wear open-toed shoes and I properly stretched for the day so my back doesn't seize up.

And no needles.

No more nonsense.

Enough of the craziness that happened on this blog last week.

ENOUGH. CRAZINESS.

Here are some cat photos to ease you through your week without me.  It'll be a long, dark time while I'm gone, but rest assured that I know you can do it.

Cinnamon has had a very hard life in this perfect weather.

Suki didn't care that I was in the middle of New Moon.

That cat does not care one ounce for sparkly vampires.

And here's a bonus photo I took of the moon the other night.  I was thinking romantic thoughts of you, Internet, as I looked at it.

One lucky commenter will get a post card from me from San Diego.  Fyi, that means you have to comment, STEVE.

Maybe you should go to the gym instead of eating that.

You guys.  My mind is useless for a blog.

Comic Con.

Comic Con.

Comic Con.

But most importantly?

VACATION.  And to those inquiring minds, Comic Con is a big convention that started out like a million years ago for comic books.  It's become a lot more than that, bringing vendors from all sorts of media to it, like movies.  Jesse is going for the comic books.  I'm going for the ladies.  Kidding.  I'm going for the t-shirts. 

And the ladies.

I must find something else to talk about.

Well.

Here's a picture of a homeless guy an old friend of mine took while he was driving.  It's okay, there was no law against that then.

His sign says "See if you can hit me with quarters."

With my Ford Escort #1, the odometer only had five digits.  Meaning that someday I would drive it to 100,000 miles and it would just be 0 again.  I had been awaiting the day it my car's mileage would start over, as it were, and one fateful night it happened.  I was in the car with my friend Tony, driving to St. Johns when it slowly rolled on over to zero.

This is the email I sent my parents with that picture back in 2006:

"Check it out, dawgs.  However, that last number does look like a five.  But it's not.  And see how the speed is at  zero?  It's because I STOPPED ON A BRIDGE."

First of all, yes, I still call my parents "dawgs" and second of all, my friend wasn't the least bit enthused we stopped on a bridge.  I don't mean like "Oh, careful for the bridge, you might fall in the creek (or crick)" kind of bridge.  But there was no one behind us, CALM DOWN.  He didn't UNDERSTAND.  The Blue Bullet was starting over!!!

Fourth of all, how did my mom not have a heart attack with all these cryptic emails I sent her about stopping on bridges and the like?  Oh man, I read the whole thread from my sister for that email and she had said, "I can't believe you stopped on a bridge.  I only do that to light cigarettes or open a beer."

Not long after that, Ford Escort #1 stopped.  As in, no more go.  I donated it to the Diabetus Association.  Yes I know I spelled it wrong.  I pronounce diabetes like an old man.

And here's a toothpastefordinner.com comic:

That's all for today, folks.  I'll be here next week to disappoint you some more.

Okay, you convinced me.  Here's a picture from Brittney's wedding a couple years ago when we all helped her pee while in her wedding dress.

Independence Day. Where we blew stuff up.

I've been something we call "lazy" around these parts.  These pictures have been on the computer just waiting for resizing and to be posted.  Instead, I've been sitting around reading Twilight.

"I usually don't have a burger, a brat, and a steak but, it is 4th of July. And I need the energy if I'm gonna start blowin crap up. It's what the founding fathers would want."
--Jim Gaffigan

For Independence Day (Will Smith), Jesse and I traveled to Cottage Grove to hang out with my sister's in-laws.  I've never ridden a quad before, and because I like making a fool of myself, it was the first thing I did there.

We then did crafts, because hey, I like crafts.  First we made "angels".

Or "angles" as some might type, however mine is just a girl.  Making a hair fashion statement.

Those wings were frustratingly hard to put on.

Then the Smith family (my sister and her husband, I can't believe I have to explain this to you, where have you BEEN) had a water balloon fight.  Here is my niece Jasmine looking awfully adorable.

Oh, and here is one of Christy smashing a water balloon in Jasmine's face.  You may need to click on it to get the full effect.

I went inside to check on Mikey later on, as he was supposed to have changed his clothes.  I heard something that sounded a lot like a naked 6 year old jumping on the bed, and alas, I was right.  We finally got him to put some shorts on.

My little stingray.

And then we painted shirts to be all patriotic up in here.

We blew stuff up.

And then we came home and had a heat wave.  The cats haven't been doing much.

Do you like how I say the cats haven't been doing much?  As in I often find them doing useful things?

Also, no, I did not read myself a children's book and then go to bed.  That is ridunkulous.

Oh, and I saved the best for last.

P.S.

I finished Twilight.  Which means SPOILER.  As though you don't know everything about Twilight already.

Was anyone ELSE annoyed with how stupid they made Edward seem when he showed his "true form" in the movie, but it wasn't nearly as lame in the book?  In the movie he has the whole "You will see me in my scary monster form, inhale, large sigh" but in the book he was all casual about it.  And he was a little less emo about the whole thing in the book.  He was happy just to be around Bella.  Okay, I know it's not the most amazingly written book, but considering a stay at home mom got the writing itch and just went with it?  Not so bad, you dig?

And did you know if you misspell marital it can become martial?  Talk about a strange conversation.  Oh, irony!  I just misspelled misspell up there.