So, this is my fifteenth post. Fifteen! And I'm sitting here thinking to myself, I wonder how many people are out there lurking? Lurking MY blog! Dare I say it? HIDDEN FANS.
And I'll tell you how many. Zero. Because 5 of the 10 followers that I currently have are family members. And one of those "family members" is myself. I am the ultimate family member for myself. It's like the one episode of Futurama when Bender is roaming through space and a clan of miniature people land on his belly and start living there, thinking Bender is God and then a war starts between the people living on his belly and the people living on his back and they're all going to die and his faithful follower Malachi shouts to him "We will be with you soon, my Lord" and Bender says "You're with me now! This is the maximum level of being with me."
I got a new tattoo. Which is nice to be able to say because I told my mom about it during lunch on Thursday which it's like a million pound weight being removed from my shoulders. It's like I see my mom and there's a giant elephant in the room and I am riddled with guilt by how I know, and the shirt I'm wearing knows, that I am hiding a tattoo on my delicate, beautiful skin that my mother labored creating within her for 9 precious months. And I just casually swagger up to a strange man with bad hair and an unwashed shirt and say "hey, would you put a big permanent black splotch on my arm THANKS."
I don't keep many secrets. I don't much like harboring guilt or bad feelings, which means I let them go pretty quick. Which also means I tend to have a shockingly bad memory. Recently a friend from my past came back into my life and she said to me that I had sent her an email asking what I did wrong to not have us be friends on myspace anymore and how bad she felt about that.
I do not remember this happening. I remember her taking me off her friends list, but she only kept about 12 friends on there anyways and I figured I just didn't make the cut for that month. So what do I do after I send one last email trying to salvage the friendship? I promptly forgot about it.
Which, I mean, is awesome for Jesse. He apparently thought I would remember everything he ever did to hurt my feelings and hold it against him. Ha! All homeboy has to do is buy me ice cream and I will forget every meaningful (or minute) conversation that happened in the last 3 hours. ICE CREAM, ME LIKE ICE CREAM, LOOK, SHINY OBJECT.
Well, here's a little interesting tidbit for today, I was reading someone else's blog (somebody has to lurk somewhere) and a while ago she had people list the song that was #1 the day they were born. Which, you know, I'm always down for being disappointed, so I googled mine. Lady by Kenny Rogers. I did not know this song. I thought maybe it was Lady by Styx. IT IS NOT. Lady by Kenny Rogers is a terrible song. I was getting physically depressed thinking this was the NUMBER ONE SONG being listened to while I was tormenting my mother.
It's okay though because I'm a complete moron and was looking at the wrong year, and the song that everyone was grooving to was "Walk Like an Egyptian". Much better.
But seriously, Kenny Rogers? If there had been iTunes, people would have been BUYING that song! Just that song! Not even the whole album and consequentially getting stuck with that song! But it would have only been like 15 cents then, so that's okay. Maybe it would have been the free single of the week and gotten a pity vote to #1.