Wednesday, September 21, 2011

"What do you expect, mother? I'm half machine!"

I have to admit, I'm rather impressed by your sentences including the word ductility. I had actually just meant that I wanted you to paste the word in there somewhere but  I enjoyed my miscommunication much more.

I realized I have four cards left and I hate having leftover postcards after a vacation (what are you supposed to do with them, you know?). So I either contacted everyone for their addresses or I already have it (not creepy). I just need yours, Sub Radar Mike! Because it's always fun getting mail from strangers. It's just how my parents raised me. Duff, Joann and JoAnn were the other lucky weiners!

Today we are off to Tombstone! Which apparently means touring an old brothel. Don't worry, I'll bring hand sanitizer.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

But it's a dry heat!

We are currently in Phoenix, AZ. It's been really nice and fun even when my bangs were sticking to my forehead like a toddler at Frank Lloyd Wright's winter home. Amy and Earl were wonderful enough to let us stay at their place for a couple nights but now we're at a hotel where we can poop with the door open just like old times at home. I'm typing this on a small iPod screen which is driving me a little batty so I'm going to cut to the chase. I have three extra postcards for my followers since I bought a preset amount that I had come up with before I left my postcard list at home and since I can't remember everyone on it I'm just going to send some to followers instead because I already bought the stamps.

To be eligible please put the word ductility in your comment.

Monday, September 12, 2011

I'm blue, if I were green I would die, if I were green I would die

With summer vacation finished here in Oregon, I was reminiscing about how I would get all anxious before school started each year.  Primarily, middle school.  I would be all excited because I would have new clothes and get to see my friends again, but middle school is a dog eat dog world.

I was also a little strange which never helped matters.  Let's take a look. 

1.)  In middle school I saw a picture of Vanilla Ice, which should have been my first sign because Vanilla Ice hadn't been popular in ages, but I loved the little cuts he had in his eyebrows. I'm already getting embarrassed.

Oh, the shame.  I cut two little spaces in my eyebrows.  This directly led to my discovery of eyebrow pencils, since I couldn't handle making up terrible lies to my friends about why I had cut my eyebrows, because - shocker - none of them thought it was cool.

2.)  One night I put this little clear round thing over a zit I had on my forehead.  I can't remember what it was called, but you put it on a zit and when you removed it the next morning it was supposed to look better.  All I know is the next day, mid morning, my friend said, "What is THAT?" and I was filled with self-loathing as I peeled it off my face in front of my friends in the hallway.

2.5)  I was home-schooled for about a year and a half in elementary school, and I'm trying to remember if I got as excited before a school year.  I don't remember much about being home-schooled except I once got constipated, and after drinking a bunch of prune juice I still had to work on schoolwork.  Thanks, Mom.

Oh, and just for fun, here's a picture of me shortly after I learned how to pluck my eyebrows:

FUN FACT, this was taken in 8th grade and has the year 2000 written on the back of it, which is the year Jesse graduated from high school.  He used to say, "I wish we could have met when we were younger, in high school."  To which I have said, "You would have been that creepy senior dating an 8th grader."

One more obnoxious comment, I have frogs on my shirt as well as on that hemp necklace I made.  I'm sure all of you remember I also wore a hemp necklace I made in my 6th grade picture that I have posted here.  Crafty like ice is cold.

I tried to look up things that were popular in the year 2000 but I couldn't find a good list and I didn't try that hard.  However, Blue (Da ba dee) was a top 40 hit and Creed still had some songs up there.  Thank goodness that madness is over and now we have Kesha and people who put Lil in from of their name, which I do not understand.  This is really for my friend Brittney, do you remember listening to this song about 700 times at the skating rink in middle school?  Good times, GHETTO SUPERSTAR TIMES.

P.S. Don't you hate it when people post a youtube video and you have to click the link to see it so you know you'll never watch it?

Peace out,

Lil K