Thursday, July 28, 2011

Present #1: Happy birthday, Jesse bear!

Happy birthday, Jesse!

This is what I was uploading last weekend that was bogging down our internet.

That saucy little look at the camera the last couple seconds is just for you, baby.

Preeeetty sure this is the best five dollars I've ever spent.

Now get back to opening the rest of your presents, handsome man.  Well, present, but there's more in store today!

(For all the non-birthday attendants who are obviously wondering how to get a hold of this guy, here's DancingDror's page to buy your own 30 second inexplicable dance with whatever you want him to write on his stomach for $5.  He'll let you choose the song, but I told him to just do "whatever feels right".  MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.)

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Faster than a speeding dog, more powerful than a high kick to the face, it's...

I got some new photos of myself taken recently.  I thought I would share them with you.

Ugh, I look fat, don't I?  I hung these up by my mirror as motivation to not let myself look like that ever again.

Summer has arrived in Portland!  The sun is shining, the tank is clean--THE TANK IS CLEAN.  I actually came to tell you a story of my childhood.

When I was a kid I thought that since I was able to run as fast as my dog, Auggie, that I was as fast as Superman.  There is that scene in the first Superman movie where he is running next to a train, right?  And we watched that movie a couple years ago when we were snowed in during Christmas and those movies are terrible.


Except if Jesse is reading this, then oh honey.  I love those movies so much, kind of.

Anyway, I thought that OF COURSE my overweight cocker spaniel was just as fast as Superman, because everyone knows dogs have super speed.  And since I could run as fast as Auggie, logically, I was as fast as Superman.

Then again, I was also the kid who peed in a heater vent.


He looks sad there, doesn't he?  I know it's hard carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders, Superdog.  Don't let it get you down.

I also thought that I could do a majorly awesome high kick, and attempted so in the kitchen when I was 8.  I leaned so far over during my "kick" that I kneed myself square in the nose and sneezed for half an hour.  One second I thought I was doing a ballin' high kick.  The next I realized I'd kneed myself in the face, and either I was really glad that no one saw it take place or my poor mind has blocked out if anyone else was there.