Let's go back to the time when I had raccoons living under my mobile home as a teenager.
I
was about 17, still driving Ford Escort #1, and I was leaving my sister
Christy's house late one night after what I am sure was a riveting
evening of playing Crash Bandicoot. Immediately after getting into my
car, I smelled something rancid. There were some kids playing outside
and since my windows had been rolled down I wondered if maybe they had
thrown something dead into my car to mess with me. I didn't want them
to have the satisfaction of seeing me freak out (spoiler alert, they did
not put anything in my car), so I stopped around the corner, and pulled
the driver's seat forward. And then, AND THEN, I remembered.
Weeks
earlier I had purchased a bottle of chocolate milk and didn't finish
all of it. I threw it behind the driver's seat. Before long... well.
Time makes fools of us all.
Apparently the mystical
chocolate milk gasses had built up and blown the cap from the top of the
bottle. There was this thick, horrifying brown sludge-like mess on my
back window and it had covered the floor of the driver's side back seat.
Here's
where the story kind of fizzles out, with me gagging while scraping out
the mire that once was chocolate milk, meanwhile trying to avoid the
giant raccoon that lived under my neighbor's house.
So here's a video that my dad, Mark, made. Oh calm down, it's only 33 seconds.
This was so funny and I can definitely relate! My daughter left a banana in the little plastic door pocket in the backseat.For weeks, apparently. It reeks. The banana rottedness was disposed of and the little pocket thingy wiped down but my car still stinks of banana-sweet-rottedness. It's gross.
ReplyDeleteA couple of years ago I had gone to the grocery store where I bought a gallon of milk...which leaked onto the carpet in the back of my (then) minivan. We wiped it up and shampooed the carpet but it was summer and....well, that rotten milk smell never really did go away. Ugh.
LOVED your dad's video!
gross gross gross.
ReplyDeletei actually know a few people with this sort of disgusting milk neglect ... my best friend has a similar story.
excuse me while i go puke. blech.
This reminds me of the story about my cousin who will remain nameless that had a piece of play-dough lodged in her nose which began to stink so bad her mom took her to the doctors to find out why she smelled so bad.
ReplyDeleteSee, I can't handle that stuff. I would have tried to throw the car away. One time my husband came in from taking the trash out and he was holding a GROSS pyrex dish, covered in mold. He was like, "Are you throwing this away instead of washing it?" and I was like, "Noooooooooomaybe"
ReplyDeleteSo, um, that was embarrassing for me at least.
p.s. my dad's name is mark too!
ReplyDeletep.p.s. Soylent green is PEOPLE?! AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
Wow, umm... ergh. Wish I hadn't just had lunch...
ReplyDeleteGround meat. Trunk. Summer.
ReplyDeleteI'll take your chocolate milk any day.
Duffylou
Urp. Gag. Braaaaack.
ReplyDeleteMe? I'm fine. Green? Burp.
Catering by Burger King made me pee a little.
ReplyDeleteI can't believe you didn't finish your chocolate milk!
ReplyDeleteOh and I love the new banner.
ReplyDeleteThat sounds nasty, must have smelled for ages.
ReplyDeleteI'm with the ostrich lady, I would have thrown the whole car away. I would tell my husband that I "lost" it and he would just have to get me another. Because... EW.
ReplyDeleteI like your new banner!
Indeed, time does make fools of us all. As sure as milk gases build.
ReplyDeleteYour dad is full of win.
Ewwwww...to the curdled chocolate milk.
ReplyDeleteBut hurray to your dad! A star I tell ya!
Here from Mommie Dearest and excited to be your newest follower.
ReplyDeleteI love your dad. So much. You can tell him I said so.
ReplyDeleteThat story horrified me. Because I don't think there's much worse in the world than rancid weeks old milk. My friend had a gallon of milk break in her car one time and she could not get that nastiness completely out, no matter how hard she scrubbed. Compound this with Florida heat. She ended up just selling her car. Sometimes the milk wins.
Those segues of yours... how do you do it?? From chocolate milk to planet of the apes... no one else but you could make that connection and get away with it...
ReplyDeleteoff milk is not good ; )
ReplyDeletex
Michelle
www.michellesstylefile.blogspot.com