The Furry Godmother also started following me, and I am a big fan of hers. Her dog Simone is always looking at me through the computer screen saying, "Please take me away and cuddle me forever. Even though my parents throw me birthday parties and you wouldn't." You guys are great with those parties. Poor Cinnamon just gets me shoving my face in his belly going "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" and then opening a can of Fancy Feast. Conveniently, this is also how I celebrate Jesse's birthday.
Susan from Live Lightly, Laugh Often also started following me. Go check out the pretty pictures that are her header and background. Her and her husband are remodeling their house and I want PICTURES. Wow. I just went to her blog and she has a whole tab dedicated to their house. I feel like a tool.
On to other items of business.
Once I was at the mall with my sisters and brother-in-law. Now, this is the Pony Village Mall in Coos Bay, Oregon, meaning, this mall is jank. I think JC Penney was able to stay in business, but everything else constantly had a going out of business sign except for the attached Dollar Tree and Army recruitment guys. Not that the Army recruitment guys would have a going out of business sign. They would have more of a "try the Marines next door" type of thing.
Recently I was at my parents' house and Mom had copies of a questionnaire that each member of the family had filled out back in the Coos Bay days. Do you know where my favorite place to hang out was, on that list?
Just...guess.
Wait for it...
WALMART. Didn't see that coming, did you. Unless you are Jesse, because I have extensively gone over why the Walmart was better than the mall in Coos Bay. The Walmart there was awesome. I'm receding into myself talking about this so I'm going to move forward to the story.
So hanging out at the Po-nay Village, my sister and her husband said something along the lines of, "Look at that new gym right there. I wonder how much it costs." And I said, "I'll go check." Now, my other sister Susan tells me she was there with me when this happened, but I have a bad memory and change facts, so here's my story instead. I was alone.
As I walked up to the counter, I told myself I would just ask for a broshay that included their prices. A broshay? I asked myself. Yeah... that's right. Broshay. The guy at the counter was a big beefy guy with minimal neckage and wearing ear buds.
"Could I have a broshay?"
Blink. "What?"
"A broshay." Duh.
Blank stare. He points into the mall. "The guy who's normally is here buying some socks right now, so..."
"... ...Okay, thanks," I said as I rolled my eyes and thought moron.
And then. Oh no. BROCHURE.
Cinnafluff and Jesse:
And happy birthday, Madre! I love you whole bunches. Enjoy the very thoughtful gift certificate I emailed to you.
I am going to add that to my limited vocabulary. Brochay. Love. It. The. End.
ReplyDeleteAnd there is no way Furry's Simone or any of her creatures would leave that love shack. They know how fabulous they have it. My kids don't even have it that good.
I love that no neck didn't have a clue what you wanted. Then again, you were sorta, kinda clueless too.
ReplyDeleteI meant that comment in a ha ha way. Boy, it sure didn't come across that way, did it? I thought your story was fun.
ReplyDeleteI barked with laughter (a very disturbing sound in an otherwise silent room) and then read this aloud to Nick. I don't think he got the jokes like I did.
ReplyDeleteNo one understands you like I do, Kaytay.
BOYCOTT AMERICAN WOMEN
ReplyDeleteWhy American men should boycott American women
http://boycottamericanwomen.blogspot.com/
I am an American man, and I have decided to boycott American women. In a nutshell, American women are the most likely to cheat on you, to divorce you, to get fat, to steal half of your money in the divorce courts, don’t know how to cook or clean, don’t want to have children, etc. Therefore, what intelligent man would want to get involved with American women?
American women are generally immature, selfish, extremely arrogant and self-centered, mentally unstable, irresponsible, and highly unchaste. The behavior of most American women is utterly disgusting, to say the least.
This blog is my attempt to explain why I feel American women are inferior to foreign women (non-American women), and why American men should boycott American women, and date/marry only foreign (non-American) women.
BOYCOTT AMERICAN WOMEN!
Really? What up with Anon's "comment" above mine? Oh wait a minute, is this another one of your jokes? bahahahhaha
ReplyDeletebtw My husband and I own a gym and we only hand out brochay's. Srsly are there any other kind?:-P
How could he NOT know what a broshay was?!? What a doof. Nothing in that Noggin but Meat!
ReplyDeleteI haven't told Earl yet... but I'm totally taking him to the PV mall when we visit in August... just so he can see the sort of depraived childhood I led.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY KATIE'S MOM!!!
also... looks like you've got a bit of spam up there Kateroo.
So. . . boycott American women because they say broshay? What a jerk, man.
ReplyDeleteI know this is totally ridiculous, but I am tickled pink I got my first spam comment! He is right though, I can't cook or clean, but contrary to what he thinks, my husband didn't get any until after we got married! Actually, I also didn't get any until after we got married. Jesse is such a prude.
ReplyDeleteI love how Cinnamon is buried into his own paws.
ReplyDeleteUh. I wasn't there. I wasn't even at the mall with you. Did I say I was? I just love this story. But I never thought I was there. Just wanted to clarify. Made me laugh again. Broshay. Hilarity!!
ReplyDeleteReally Walmart, we can all do better than walmart.
ReplyDeleteHilarious!
ReplyDeleteOh, and you know you've made it as blogger when weirdo Boycotting Blah Blah Blah comes to your blog. Seriously, I try to imagine this guy/woman sitting at his/her computer reading our posts and going, "Yup, this one deserves the comment!"
Anyway, I see nothing wrong with Walmart. As you know, I recently received a fine I Love You bear from there :)
Oh and PS: I love how you shout-out your new followers! That is extrely cool! You have class!
ReplyDeleteLet me be the first to say a gift certificate to McKenzieBooks.com is THE BOMB. Best ever. This month I WILL NOT run out of book money. When I run out of my household budget money, I will have your gift certificate. Feel free to give me one every month, should you be so inclined.
ReplyDeleteAnd, yeah, I remember the broshay incident.
It was what we call 'a Katie'. ^_^
Love, Mom
I'm glad I wasn't the only one who didn't know what was going on!! Brochure... Ahhhhh!
ReplyDeleteAnd what's with "Anon's" comment above?? Now that was confusing! ;-)
Happy Monday Darling! xo
I finally made it over to stalk you, yay!
ReplyDeleteWhen I saw brochay I seriously thought you were gonna talk about crocheting something for your brother. Then I saw the context and couldn't figure out why it was wrong or what the correct word was. Thanks for confusing me further than I am on any given day. >.>
Also, you're funny. I'm keeping you. =D
Funny how everyone else is stuck on the broshay thing and I'm still laughing to myself about how you celebrate Jesse's birthday!!
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm guessing you've checked out the People of Walmart site... not that I'm saying you'd make it on there at all!!
Hanging out at Wal-Mart. That sounds like a good time waiting to happen.
ReplyDeleteWhat a tosser comment above. I sure hope he boycotts Australian women too. I want me a broshay too. Can you get us all one and mail it to us so we can send them a message of thanks for the broshay.
ReplyDeleteOh the joys of growing up in Coos Bay. For those of you who didn't, Walmart was the classiest place to hang! Po'dunk. LOL. I'm with you Katie! I loved hanging out at Walmart. And sadly JCPenny didn't even survive. It is now Macy's. Boo. Still overpriced and not big enought for a fat girl like me.
ReplyDelete