I have nothing to talk about. Let us proceed with the post stating otherwise...
I came home from work the other day to this:
Had Jesse disintegrated?
"My apartment is infested with koala bears. It's the cutest infestation ever. Way better than cockroaches. When I turn on the light, a bunch of koala bears scatter, but I don't want them to. I'm like, 'Hey... Hold on fellows... Let me hold one of you, and feed you a leaf.' Koala bears are so cute, why do they have to be so far away from me. We need to ship a few over, so I can hold one, and pat it on its head."
I came home from work the other day to this:
Had Jesse disintegrated?
"My apartment is infested with koala bears. It's the cutest infestation ever. Way better than cockroaches. When I turn on the light, a bunch of koala bears scatter, but I don't want them to. I'm like, 'Hey... Hold on fellows... Let me hold one of you, and feed you a leaf.' Koala bears are so cute, why do they have to be so far away from me. We need to ship a few over, so I can hold one, and pat it on its head."
So, Amy had to be all, "Slugs aren't so bad, I've had to kill three scorpions so far in my new place." Indeed, Amy. Indeed. It's too bad Amy and I stopped being friends, isn't it? No one likes perspective, Amy.
I never had an issue with slugs. It's kind of like raccoons. I never had a problem with those adorable little faces. But? When they move in under your house and have babies? And eat all your cat's food? And make the most HORRIFIC NOISES? They lose their cuteness. And talk about a not at all stressful time for my parents.
Brittney and Bracken moved away from us :( Which means Brittney has to update her blog regularly so I know what the heck is going on in their lives. Because I'm apparently extremely nosy.
Okay, here's pictures I took of Cinnamon when he fell asleep on the couch.
Hairy toes!
And then he woke up and looked very jarred. See the spread toes?
And then I didn't think Suki was going to let me in to my own house.
"Sorry, but a toll is a toll, and a roll is a roll, and if we don't get no tolls, then we don't eat no rolls."
Remember that line? Robin Hood: Men in Tights? Which was way more entertaining than the real Robin Hood?
"I opened up a yogurt, underneath the lid it said, "Please try again" because they were having a contest that I was unaware of. I thought maybe I opened the yogurt wrong. ...Or maybe Yoplait was trying to inspire me... "Come on Mitchell, don't give up!" An inspirational message from your friends at Yoplait, fruit on the bottom, hope on top."
Mitch Hedberg
Mitch was so great!
ReplyDeleteMy fav:
ReplyDeleteI think Bigfoot is blurry, that's the problem. There's a large out-of-focus monster roaming the countryside.
Mitch Hedberg
I was giving myself some perspective when our vanity project hit a snag yesterday. . .something like, well, at least we're not battling potentially lethal slugs!
Steve's wife, Beth
Even when you claim to have nothing to talk about, you manage to tell some pretty awesome stories. I think you should tell the story (from your perspective) of that time we went walking on the beach late at night.
ReplyDeleteWoah, WHAT? Potentially lethal slugs? Beth, Beth, Beth. You've taken this to a whole different level for me.
ReplyDeleteBAAAAH! I'm glad that we're still friends... even with perspective...
ReplyDeleteBTW, if my computer was working on friday (and this one had updated software (my flashdrive doesnt work here!) My post that I so dutifully wrote Friday morning was titled: "BAAAAHHH! Do you speak sacraficial lamb?"