Never make a pretty person your wife.

See?  Groveling DOES work.  It has helped me get cats, McDonald's, a husband, and three extra followers.  Joann started pity-following me, and I think Steve's wife made him follow me, and Jenna made her husband Nick follow me.  Joann's blog and Steve's blog have been some of my favorites for a while, but I wasn't following Nick's because I'm a bad friend.  Maybe if I wouldn't be so concerned with followers, you say?  I can't hear you.

Oh, but Nick wins the dollar.  Sorry.  I'd send all of my followers a dollar, but that's pushing 20 bucks and do you know how much Taco Bell you can get for 20 dollars?  If you don't, you must be eating at those fancy restaurants like those elusive "buffets" I keep hearing about.  And GOOD LORD, when did buffets become so expensive?  They were so much cheaper when I was a kid and didn't know how much they cost.  Jesse and I took my niece and nephew Michael and Jasmine to Hometown Buffet and they had a big sign out front that said adult meals were $6.99*.  That *?  Said does not include drink.  Oh, but you're going to charge me a buck fifty for a drink anyway?  So you're lying to me, kind of.  I cannot read the writing under the * from the road.  This is not a good review for Hometown Buffet.  I understand $7.49 wasn't bad for an adult meal.  Just keep reading.

Last Christmas we visited Jesse's family.  His grandparents kept asking me where I wanted to go to lunch.  "Well, honey, what kind of food do you like?"  I kept saying anything was fine, but no, they wanted something I liked.  Over and over again.

"Really, I don't know any of the restaurants here, you guys choose."

"No, where do you want to eat?"

"Okay... Mexican."

"Oh, okay!  Well, Neil probably wouldn't do well with Mexican.  We'll go to a buffet."

That buffet was 12 dollars per person.  We had paid for Jesse's sister Jaime's meal and when she came to the table with just a plate of salad I said to her, "Oh, how's your $12 salad?  YOU BETTER BE KIDDING ME AND GO GET SOME REAL FOOD."  I may have embellished that last part, but I did ask her how her 12 dollar salad was.  When we had all walked in, Jesse's grandpa pulled out $40 to pay for us all and I was like, "No, no, I understand your stomach is too delicate for Mexican food, but we'll pay for our own."   Yikes!  Is the senior discount $2 a meal?  I ate macaroni and cheese and lukewarm cheesecake.  Oh, and?  That won't give you diahrrea at all, not in the least bit.  (Eat your diahrrea.)

I do like how old people are sweet like that, even though they know they have already decided what they want.  I did not know the politics of old people because I have no grandparents.  Mom and Dad, you are NOT OLD.  When you start denying me Mexican food, you will be old.  Keep your chops up.  My mom has always thought I think they're "old" because they were 35 when they had me, but what that really made happen was I started making friends who were married and in their 30's by the time I was 19.  What teenage only child?

Okay, yeah, where was I?  I thought I had a point, but time makes fools of us all.

HAVE A GOOD WEEKEND.  We will be in Grants Pass, Oregon partying it up within the retirement community.  That's right, Judi.  I know you're like 15 years younger than my parents.  Judi is Jesse's aunt.  Judi makes me mad.  It's okay, I can say this because, as she states, she only comes to my blog when she's bored, and leaves even more bored.  This is Judi and myself.

And you thought I was finishing up this blog post!  LOOK AT HOW CUTE JUDI IS.  I'm all stressed out trying to be attractive and she just casually turns around and looks all "Oh hello!  What a surprise you're taking a picture!"

One time Judi was visiting us in Portland and she came to pick me up for lunch.  Later in the week, a coworker of mine was talking to me and asked if that had been Jesse's sister.

His sister.

I told her this amazing, wonderful compliment and she didn't even acknowledge it.  But maybe she didn't have her hearing aid on.

But she is SO DOWN with Mexican food.