Friday, August 13, 2010



It's always the ones you don't think would hurt you, that do.

I had a slight altercation with Hank.  Perhaps 7 months into this relationship was too long.  Or perhaps the fact that I drove her in front of a car that was moving 40 miles an hour while shouting out "T-bone me!  T-bone me!" is what did us in.  Quite literally.

Last night I was pulling out of a side street when I was a big fat dummy and didn't see the girl driving towards me on my left.  I saw her too late, tried to speed up, and she swerved like a madwoman (in slightly the wrong direction) and hit my car.  I like to think I can blame her.  Because I pulled out in front of her.  Remember that part about being a big fat dummy?

It totally ruined my dinner plans. 

I'm part of the Big Brothers Big Sisters program.  I've had my little sister for a few months now, and I picked her up last night to celebrate a belated birthday with her.  We hadn't gone 300 feet from her house before my attempted murder of Hank.  The reason I tell you this totally embarrassing part about putting my Little in danger is that I have to check in with someone at Big Brothers every month to see how things are going.  She wrote me a few days ago and had a list of questions for me to answer.  One of which was the following:

2)      What are some of the safety precautions you take as a Big to make sure that your little is safe when hanging out with you?

"Well, first I make sure she buckles that seat belt up.  Then I look over at her and say "HOLD ON!" while I pull out in front of a car during a left-hand turn.  I mean, she's gotta find out sometime, right?  Life lessons!"

Oh.  And the irony.  The stone-cold, slap you in the face, never call you back after that first date that you thought went really well irony.  When the cop came and talked to me and got all my information, he suddenly said, "That shirt is appropriate."

I could not make this stuff up if I tried.

Please note the small "ctrl + z" to the side of the car crash.  Control z is "undo".  Unfortunately, no one had a keyboard handy.  And believe it or not, I was wearing my slimming bra.

I have a really horrendous looking bruise on my hip that I'll show you later.  I know you're excited.  Holy crap, I was just about to make a joke about how I got injured and it wasn't even anyone's birthday before I realized why I was taking my Little out in the first place.

Okay, here's where you leave comments to me about how glad you are that I'm not dead.  Because we all know Jesse would never clean the litter box unless Suki dropped a particularly nasty dookie.


  1. First things first. LOVE the new layout. It goes well with your blog title.
    And, as we discussed, you will now get your very own framed Tow Truck picture with 'Williams Family Unsafe At Any Speed'. I was hoping to avoid giving you one of those but now that the deed is done, it's kind of a relief.
    Love you!

  2. I'm so glad your okay sweetie. It would be awkward cuddling with both cats by myself.

  3. I can't believe you were wearing that shirt. It's hilarious!


  5. I'm just so glad you and your Little are safe first and foremost.

    And how crazy is the shirt thing? Perhaps it's a bad karma shirt. Do NOT wear it again while driving. Wear white. White is a sign of hope.

    Oh, and love your new blog look. Is that appropriate to say when we're talking about car crashes? I'll whisper it, "love your new blog design."

  6. I am just relieved that both of you are okay. Whew! And don't feel too badly---I totally ran a stop sign the other day and almost got hit myself (would've been my fault). Other driver blared his horn at me and my girls asked what was going on. Oy!

  7. I am glad you're not dead, I'm glad you warned your Little to brace herself instead of mindlessly screaming, which I did once during a very minor fender bender (I was a passenger). Oh, and my accident was on Christmas.

  8. I'm glad that you and your little weren't seriously hurt. And that shirt on that day is beyond funny. Crashes suck. I know this because I rear ended someone yesterday. Something in the water perhaps?

  9. Sorry about the crash. All I can say about that is if you take after gets easier. Just kidding. It always sucks. I'm glad your safe and from the sounds of things, your little sis took it pretty good. Going and getting help. She's a keeper.
    Love the shirt. I would of told the cop, "my eyes are up here!!"

  10. I am very glad you and your little survived.

    I am also glad your air bags deployed in time to save your shirt.

    Was that appropriate? Sorry.


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