2010, a year in pictures. And, you know, words.

Is anyone else really glad that 2010 is almost over?  I mean, good riddance.  

For those of you who stayed up late Christmas night worrying because you didn't get me a birthday present for the 26th, I had a very good day.  Jesse did an EXCELLENT job for my birthday, surprising me with a booze cruise!

Well, a brunch cruise, but whatever.  We went up to the wheel room and Jesse announced it was my birthday so el capitan let me steer the boat for a while.  We had a really great time, and I highly recommend the Portland Spirit cruises.  It's something I've wanted to do for a while (hence Jesse saying "See?  I listen!") and it was a great way to see a side of the city you don't normally see.

So, to wrap up this year, even though a lot of you have been reading my blog for a year and are like, "why is she repeating everything she's already said?" Calm down, and enjoy some highlights.

We bought the car Hank.

In February I welcomed the newest member to my family, my very own Nana!  Which by the by, having a nana is awesome.  I see why my niece and nephews like it so much.

We got infested with slugs.  And then... we got infested with slugs.  And dudes, it happened more than I mentioned on the blog, because the novelty of taking pictures of slugs in your bathroom wears off fast.

In July we went to San Diego Comic Con.  Which I wrote about in three parts for some reason, I think because I didn't have anything else to talk about.  Part One and Part Two and Part Three.

Then, in August, I killed Hank.

And then, two days later, we found out Jesse's beloved kitty Suki had diabetes.  And so we put her down and bought a new car the same day, which, in hindsight, don't buy a car when you're in mourning, okay?  I mean, ours turned out okay in the end, but your judgment is skewed.  Lessons from Aunt Katie.  Poop accidents.

In November the only post I did was about my wisdom teeth extraction in high school, which everyone had a good time telling me about THEIR wisdom teeth extractions in the comments and in emails.  And the only reason I allowed you to post your stories in the comments was because I wasn't there in real life to interrupt you in the middle of your story and say, "That's nothing!"

Then in November we found out Jesse has type 2 diabetes, which I haven't really told you about because have I mentioned I've been busy?  I also had a scare with Cinnamon, thinking perhaps he ... hey, I realized I never made the morbid joke that diabetes runs in the family because Suki got it.  Well, there it is.  Anyway, 15 1/2 year old Cinnamon is still alive and kicking for now (he was diagnosed with kidney disease the same time Suki got diabetes).  And if you're wondering, we went from cheap cat food to prescription cat food at TWENTY EIGHT DOLLARS A BAG, but it actually has helped his blood work a ton, so...there it is.  In case you guys are considering getting quote unquote better food for your animal, I recommend trying it.

There was also a lot of begging for more followers this year, copious amounts of cat pictures, and various knitting projects.  Let's take a look!

So, my new blog friends, here's to a non-sucky 2011!  And thanks for humoring me on this blog.  It's nice to know that some people out there in the blogosphere find me worth giving attention to.  Well, sometimes.  Some people don't like cats, which is crazy.

Christmas cards from strangers and I made a hat.

Yaaaaaay!  Duffylou is now following me!  Duffy, I'm stoked you're following me.  She's a Bye Bye, Pie junkie as well.  Good times.  Yeah.  Am I still typing?

The wieners of our Christmas cards are modeled by the very enthusiastic CinnaVanna White.

Annie and The Furry Godmother!

And I'm going to be honest, guys.  Even though she Fahrvergügened and wasn't chosen, Joann is already getting a Christmas card.  She won a postcard when I went to Comic Con, so she's already on The List.  Same as Amy.  And even though Target Steve never comments anymore, he's getting one.  If you win something here, apparently you win forever.  Which is weird because why am I so excited to send strangers mail?


And now for the weather, here's Jesse.

"Looks chilly out there Jesse, is that right?"

"Oh yes it is.  You may not need an umbrella, but it's a little nippy and you may want to wear a hat.  Just like the hat my wife just finished for me."

"Well, my, what an excellent job she did!  And I bet she's just chomping at the bit for people to visit her craftster link and leave a comment!"


"Oh, she is!  Back to you, Katie."

And now, for the very patient NessaKnit (thanks for being so nice).  What seems like a long, long time ago, NessaKnit had a giveaway on her blog for a vintage knitting pattern book, and I won!  Pictures.

She was just supposed to send a vintage book, but she sent all sorts of goodies!  Like this Surprise Yarn.  Which is now a Surprise cowl (craftster link).

And here's Cinnamonster being Santa's little helper while I was wrapping some presents.

Merry Christmas, ya'll!  (And it's my birthday next Sunday, I'm very excited!  I'm sure you're excited for me too.)

The children were nestled all snug in their beds

While visions of sugar plums (and apparently Taco Bell) danced in their heads.

Merry Christmas!

I have two extra Christmas cards set aside for my blog followers, if you are so inclined to receiving mail from strange people on the internet.  To be eligible, please paste the word Fahrvergügen in your comment.

The Christmas Tree of Sorrow and Despair.

I got a new follower.  So this is the pattern.  Don't blog for a month, come back, find a new follower.  It's been working out pretty well so far.  Hello, Randine.  I seeeeeee you.


Okay, so we got this stupid tree and then the stupid thing wouldn't stay upright.  The fury.  THE FURY.

And as you can see, I fiddled with it so much that half the ornaments are now facing the wall.  And then my dad came over and said, "You know what I'd do?  Got any string?"  And immediately I was on the same page because I'm my father's daughter and I was like OH HECK YES I'VE GOT SOME STRING.  So later on when Jesse was at the store by himself because I may have already been in my jammies, I climbed behind the tree with a cup hook and some yarn to tie the tree up to the wall so it wouldn't be so depressing anymore.  And because, hello!  What's more classy than a Christmas tree tied to the wall?  Then I found out the walls are too soft for screws to support any weight, and I left the yarn back there, climbed back over the couch, and did some angry knitting until Jesse came home.  Hi, husband!  I'm your festive wife, here in my jammies and mad at you because the stupid tree stupid sucks.

I shoved a Pringles can into the tree stand and life overall has been much better.  Not perfect, but better.

Also, a few weeks ago I said to Jesse, "Hey, this last half of 2010 has been pretty exciting for us, but there's been a lull the past few weeks.  Why don't we go to the doctor and have him diagnose you with type 2 diabetes?"

So, that's what we've been up to. Katie's agenda:  learn how to cook for a diabetic diet.  Wait, scratch that.  Learn how to cook.

Here's a shot of Cinnamon taking advantage of the heater behind the couch, warming up his cute pink nosie.

The end.

Oh wait, just kidding.  I remembered there was a passage from a book I wanted to include, and seeing as my blog track record the past few months has been scattered, I should post it now instead of waiting.

When Jesse and I first got married, he was what you call a Scrooge about Christmas.  A Bah-Humbug.  A Grinch.  I'm very fortunate to have a great family who's kept up on traditions, especially through the holidays.  So I am what you call filled with Christmas Spirit.  I love the thing.  Yeah yeah, stores have made it this crazy thing to get you to spend a lot of money, but that's what stores do.  You think they weren't taking advantage of people protecting themselves during Y2K, even if they thought it was bunk?  Sorry I just mentioned Y2K.

I'm saying that yeah, Christmas may have become this crazy spending spree, but I still very much believe in the magic of the season.  The first Christmas Jesse and I had together, he did not want to get a Christmas tree.  I finally dragged him along a couple weeks before Christmas and made him get a tree with me.  We had friends over afterward, I made cookies, we decorated the tree, and watched Christmas movies.  That night Jesse said to me a simple, "How dare you.  How dare you make me like Christmas."  And that dude has not been the same ever since.  I mean, that morning he didn't like Christmas.  The next day he wanted to throw a big ugly sweater Christmas party.

Last month I found an old book my mom had bought me by an author I liked, and I read a part that reminded me of Jesse and I may have cried a little bit (nobody saw, it doesn't count).  Yes I was reading it in the bathroom.  Because we keep it real here at twelvedaysold.

This passage is from Engaging Father Christmas, a novella by Robin Jones Gunn (author of the Christy Miller series, beloved of my heart).

"I thought of all the times over the years when I had heard people say Christmas was too commercial and materialistic.  They were right, of course.  I couldn't disagree.  But if any one of those bah-humbug, Christmas Scrooges had lived my life, if they had come from where I came from, with motel soaps and shampoos and never a Christmas tree to fill a room with cheer and wonder, I think they would have softened their railings.  If they could feel what I felt at this moment, gazing at the Christmas tree with wide-eyed Julia, they would say that tradition, decorations, and gifts were a beautiful way to celebrate Christ's birth."

And that's it, my fabulous followers!  Hopefully I'll have the annual Bray Creepy Christmas Photo up sometime this weekend.  (And Nessa, I owe you pictures of the cowl I knit and the package you sent me, but I wanted to get this post up before it was too late to talk about Christmas.)

Hot or Not? Dot com.

Let me preface this story with saying yes, I think I am better than you if you don't have a more impressive wisdom tooth extraction story.  I can't help it.  It is a major flaw in the human race.  But I'm not the only one.  Here, let me insert a video, and if you don't want the video, I have included the dialogue in text form for your viewing pleasure.  If you don't care for either (why are you here), then skip down until you hear think *tink*, then you may turn the page.

"I made the mistake of trying to tell a story about having only two wisdom teeth pulled.  And I learned a lesson. Don't ever try to tell a two-wisdom-tooth story, because you ain't goin' nowhere. The four-wisdom teeth people are gonna parachute in and cut you off at the pass. "Halt! Halt with your two wisdom tooth tale!" You will never complete one - trust me. I was trying to tell my story ...

"You know, I had some wisdom teeth pulled ... I had two--"
"I had four pulled."

Oh, ok.

...No, five. No, nine! I had nine wisdom teeth pulled! All of mine were impacted, they were all coming in upside down, the roots wrapped around my tongue, coming out my nose ... there were tusks! I was a warthog! No anesthesia, they pulled them out with pliers, I was eating corn-on-the-cob that afternoon.

Pin the blue ribbon upon his chest. That knocks the socks off of my wisdom tooth tale."

Anyway.

 *tink*  You may now turn the page.

My face swelled up when I had my FOUR wisdom teeth pulled.  And because of that flaw I mentioned in the human race, yes, I got dry socket in two of my teeth because I kept throw-throw-throwing up after taking Vicodin, thereby pushing out two of my bloodclots.  I know you're thrilled to read this.

Speaking of that dry socket, the night that was the worst I took a bunch of pain meds and stayed up until the wee hours of the morning watching infomercials, and crying.  Imagine me, perched on the side of my bed, tears streaming down my face for what had been hours at that point, watching an infomercial on mineral makeup, reveling in how amazing the results were.  I needed that mineral makeup.  Sob.  Needed.  Needless to say I didn't get the makeup and I had to take a suppository to stop being nauseous.

Anyway, there are two pictures from my wisdom teeth extraction, one I call the "girl" picture:

And one I call the "boy" picture:

Now I want to state, for the record, I was not allowed to put photos of myself online while I was in high school.  And for the most part, I complied.  Until this photo was taken.

There is a website called hotornot.com where you upload a photo of yourself and people rate how hot you are.  And I just checked to make sure it still exists, and it appears that yes, people are still wanting low self esteem by putting pictures of themselves online for people to rate how hot they are.  It's redonk.

So anyway, I decided to go against my mother's wishes, and I put the boy photo of myself online as a dude.

Aaaaallll that to say:

The ladies think I'm a 7.

Hi, I'm twelvedaysold, not in prison.

Last night I had a talk with Jesse about something kind of important.

"Honey?"  I said, sweetly, but sternly.  "I feel like you're putting your homework on the back burner."

And then I literally slapped my knee and got kind of that giddy-in-your-chest-too-funny-of-a-joke-to-laugh-properly thing.

But on to more important things.

Honey?

I'm going to be honest and say it's gonna be kind of irregular at the twelvedaysold for a little while.  Life is getting cray-zay and the holidays aren't going to help.  Well, they are, because Christmas is awesome, but you understand.  It's about being bizzay, dawg.  Bledat.

Anyway, craft project!

It looks a little dull in this photo, so here's an angled shot so you can see how sparkly the letters actually were.

Jasmine is my cutie pie niece, and here's a picture of her absolutely in love with her new bedroom door sign.

Actually, I typed all this before her party, so I'm really going out on a limb.

Let's move forward.  Cinnabanana, doing his new laying down-squinty-eye thingy:

And, a while ago Jesse and I were arguing about something stupid (which is how it always is, am I right or am I right?) and Cinnamon was sitting on my legs.  He jumped off me and in the middle of Jesse and I arguing I was like GET THE CAMERA.  And here's the cuteness that ensued and what put whatever we were arguing about to rest.

See?  Pets are good for a marriage!

And I have a new follower, Giddy Fingers!  It's a comic blog, and right up my alley.  Giddy, I'm not sure why you started following me when I hadn't blogged for like 2 weeks, but I appreciate the pity follow.

Oh, and in case you were wondering, yes, Jesse had already moved all the flammable papers from the stove and I had to reenact the photo.

Wordless Wednesday 2.0. Toddler and sixth grade. What happened to my eyebrows?

Lay off me, I'm starving

Weeks and weeks ago, I decided to pick up a couple cheeseburgers from Burgerville.  I love you, Burgerville!

I got these cheeseburgers because Jesse had asked me to pick him up from school that night.  If I don't eat when I'm hungry, I get what's known as Low-Blood-Sugar-Cranky-Butt-Disorder.  It's not pretty.  It wasn't so bad until after we got married.  Turns out when you know the guy is going to stick around, you don't hide the Cranky Butt as much.

Me, while dating:  "Oh no, I can wait another two hours to eat!  No problem!"  sucks in stomach 

Me, while married:  "Well, I SAID I was hungry half an hour ago, so yeah, I'm still hungry WOULD YOU PULL OVER."  Pretty.  Is what it's not.  For the sake of our marriage, I try to eat before I see him if I'm hungry.

Anyway.  Cheeseburgers.  I was eating the first one when I tasted something odd.  Not like, kitchen-cleaner-odd, just food-that-isn't-normally-in-a-burger-odd.  And I sat there for a good 30 seconds to a minute trying to figure out what the flavor was that I was tasting.

Celery, guys.  It was celery.  I can honestly say that with years of mastering the ability to pick green vegetables out of potato salad that I haven't had celery in probably a decade.

(Oh, and on another note?  Jesse had me eat a banana last weekend which was literally the first time I've eaten a banana in it's regular state in at least nine years.  And that is not an exaggeration.  There's a whole uninteresting story behind why I don't eat bananas, but this is not the time.)

So I decided to write that story on a blog I read, and I got such comments as:

"Celery on a burger?!?"

"Who puts CELERY on a hamburger?"

"Celery on a burger? That is just so wrong, I can't even comprehend it."


You may notice not one of those comments said anything about my ATROCIOUS DIET.  Hi, mom.


Okay, cat:

Aaaaand we have a new follower.  Sandra with Absolutely Narcissism!  Thank you for encouraging me to think the world needs my blog fodder.  Fodddd-eeeerrrrrrr.

Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don't shoot their husbands.

Have I ignored you long enough?  Yes?  Are you sure?  Because I could leave for a little bit longer, if you enjoyed the silence.

Even though I've been missing (and as a side effect, boring) for the past week or so, I've gotten two new followers!  I know, I don't understand it either.

First up we have NessaKnit.  She's Australian.  And since we are all from America we think she is fabulous.  Am I right or am I right?

And then we have The Empress from Good Day, Regular People, which slays me, because it's like, you know, like she's an Empress and everyone that visits her is a regular people.  Wait, she's calling me a regular people.  Unfollow.

Speaking of getting more followers even though I'm not updating, I got a couple MORE followers on my twitter account.  It's mind-bottling.

Okay, well.  I'm back in bidniss.  Here are a few photos of our adventure at the Japanese Gardens.

"Here's a good idea. Have a POINT."

Hi.

I've been sick.

Do you ever get the feeling when you're sick that you are the most dull, boring, boring person in the world?  I don't know how anyone could find me interesting right now.  Jesse, you made a mistake pairing up with me.  I'm so dull.  And I can talk about cats for like 2 hours before realizing it.

We went to the Japanese Gardens on Saturday and had a Star Wars marathon with BRITTNEY and BRACKEN before I got sick.  I'll post pictures later.  Because, if I posted them now, that would be interesting.  And I am dull right now.

"Camping's a tradition in my family." "Hey, it was a tradition in everyone's family, 'til we came up with a house."

Well, everything has been very non-sucky lately, which is great on a personal level, but slightly boring on a blog level.

EXCEPT (whooo boy) Brittney and Bracken are back in Portland!!  Well, they're in Gresham, but that is an insanely better drive than going to Coos Bay.  Oh how we missed our BrittBrack.  OH HOW WE DID.  And, I will allow Brittney a few weeks to get settled in and get internet access, and then she does not get off the hook until she blogs again.  She just went on a roadtrip to Wyoming and homegirl needs to BLOG.  Please head over there and bother her.

I found a disposable camera like 8 months ago in our truck before we abandoned it on that forsaken car lot, and I came across it again last week.  Did you know some of them have expiration dates?  I know, right!  It was two years expired, but I had high hopes.  The film was ripped so they only got 16 shots out of it, but there is a whole series of photos from a camping trip I took with Brittney and Evan (you know Evan, I named my car after him.  He's back in the states now, so his blog I'm Evan and I'm in Iceland should be changed to I'm Evan and I'm in Tacoma, Washington Feel Bad For Me).

That's Evan.

That camping trip was awesome.  And by "awesome" I mean, I haven't gone camping since.  Why do people go camping?

"My parents never took me camping, you know why?  'Cause they loved me."  -- Jim Gaffigan

The summer I was engaged to that man of mine, Britt, Evan and I got together for the 2nd annual BrittEvanKatie get-together.  Sure, we can go camping!  Sounds like a great idea!  There was no firewood around the area.  Which didn't matter because we couldn't get a fire started anyway.  But I said hey, no wussing out.  No waking up tomorrow morning and saying "Want to get breakfast at Kozy Kitchen?"  Needless to say we drove in to town and had breakfast bright and early the next morning, and I got a horrible sunburn just in time for a wedding I was the maid of honor for.  However.  Here are the photos of us with gummy bears. (And yes, we did eventually get a fire started when we walked around the campground and someone was selling firewood and fire starters.)

Gummies roasting on an open fire...sunburn nipping on my skin... I know it's been said, many times, many ways...I hate camping, I-I hate...camp...ing.

I did have a good time (obviously), don't get me wrong.  It's just...I like showering without such a high risk of getting hepatitis.

Alright, new followers!  Susan's friend Jessica FINALLY started following me.  And my friend Jennifer started following me as well, along with Tarunita from Me and My Life.  Thanks, guys!